Sunday, April 01, 2007


April 1, 2007
The New York Times
The Caucus Blog

HRC Hires Gay Ex-GOP Rep Gunderson as Co-Director
By Adam Nagourney
The Human Rights Campaign, the world's largest gay equal rights political advocacy group with 666 million dues-paying members, stunned the capital's open and closeted gay powerbrokers and gays everywhere when the group's leader announced today that former gay GOP Congressman Steve Gunderson has accepted the newly created position of co-director.
Joe Solmonese, president and executive director of HRC, explained in a phone interview from his limo that he and the board of directors decided now was the ideal time to hire Gunderson, a lifetime Republican with effective lobbying skills who knows exactly how to persuade GOP House members to maneuver passage of legislation into law.
Asked why HRC took this unprecedented step Solmonese said, "We needed a gay or lesbian Republican advocate to match my longstanding and impeccable credentials as a Democratic gay leader. That person is my good fried Steve Gunderson."
When reached for comment, Gunderson expressed strong enthusiasm for his new partnership with HRC.
"It's an honor to accept the co-director position and work with Joe. We're going to make a fabulous dynamic duo, able to work both sides of the political aisle, all to the benefit of gay Americans, regardless of party identification," Gunderson told The Times.
The former Congressman, who once represented a Wisconsin district, was outed in the early 1990s when independent gay watchdog Michael Petrelis confronted him in a Virginia gay bar and tossed a Coke on him. Gunderson was not then open about his gayness, but voters in his district always reelected him, rumors of his homosexuality apparently no detriment to his successful political career.
Speaking from the San Francisco medical marijuana dispensary where he volunteers, Petrelis reacted to the development.
"This is so shocking I need to smoke some medicine," he said, over coughs and the bubbling water of his bong. "One thing I can say about Gunderson is, unlike thin-skinned Solmonese, his skin is not only thick, it's positively splash-proof."
On the other end of the gay blogger spectrum, conservative Beltway-based Andrew Sullivan who's written extensively on HRC's transparency and credibility problems, opined thus: "Blimey, I had no bloody idea the HRC chaps were genuinely keen to work with people they don't like or respect. Maybe they'll also now address my questions on their membership numbers."
And black lesbian writer Pam Spaulding, who resides in North Carolina, and whose views fall in the moderate middle of the diverse gay and lesbian political blogger community, was pleased with HRC's new hire. "My advice to HRC is to join the modern age and begin blogging. Start interacting respectfully with gays and lesbians deeply worried about the course of the gay political agenda in DC."
Further stunning stalwart critics of HRC, the organization's Vice President for Programs, Strategy, Branding, Marketing and Profiteering, David M. Smith announced they are starting quarterly town hall style meetings at their Washington headquarters, with their state-of-the-art communications facilities ready to air the meetings on radio streaming and through web-casting, and at no cost to community members and news reporters.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny. Funnier yet that Andrew Sullivan thinks it's real. Ever the fool.

Anonymous said...

Why would Andrew Sullivan think it's real? He'd be the first to know he didn't actually say that quote.

Anonymous said...

OR maybe Andrew Sullivan thinks today is 4/20.

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny, but it would have been just plain hilarious if you quoted Andrew Sullivan as saying "Crikey!" instead of "Blimey".

Anonymous said...

It is quit telling to see that Solmonese is sitting on his fat ass in a limo spending thousands of dollars a month miss using HRC contributors money. Either Solmonese needs to become transparent in how the organization uses it's money or resign. I will not send a dime to this organization or GLAAD until they both become truthful to gays and lesbians across this country. I am glad Sullivan has called them out for their lies and hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

Odds are he didn't read past the first few paragraphs to the point where he's actually fake-quoted!

Anonymous said...

Even if he didn't read past the first paragraph, you don't think the "666 million dues-paying members" part would have raised an instant red flag?

The real odds are that he didn't want to spoil a good April Fool's joke.

Brian Miller said...

Hahaha, I knew it was fake immediately. Openness from HRC, and multi-partisan approaches without foregone conclusions? Pretty funny stuff.

Daimeon said...

666 mil. Dues Paying members? We are evil aren't we. Bwa ha ha ha ha!